Any suggestions for how you help your kids transition?

*Right after finishing this piece a man I greatly respect blogged about the same topic you can read it here.

We were thrilled when we found out we were expecting our second blessing, then became a bit panicked when we realized just HOW close in age they would be. Don't get us wrong, we desired for them to be close. But we had just started trying for a second and based on our last experience with Baby Love, thought it would take awhile. All of that to say that 2 under 2 was a bit daunting. Being the Type A personality that I (Abbey) am, my coping mechanism kicked in and books were researched, lists made and ideas formulated. We were determined to make this the smoothest transition possible. Famous last words? We certainly hoped not! Well, two months into our new life and we thought it would be good to share a few of our tips and tricks. Mind you, these worked for us, for our situation, and might not work for everyone. But hey, you never know!

 As a parent there are many crossroads you face and sometimes you just have to make a decision and pray that it was the best decision out of the available options. We have learned that often the right choice won't manifest fruit for awhile, while the wrong choice will show the ugliness of its face quickly. This leads to much waiting and praying, and more waiting.


 Around the start of this past year we were convicted over our word choice when talking about work and school. We realized that we were using a down tone and words like "have to" rather than "gets to". Now we all know why we did that, neither of us wanted him to be gone. At the time Baby Love was small enough that there wasn't anything he was doing that told us this needed to change, it was simply a quiet voice of conviction. We resolved to change how we spoke about these matters and to truly find in our hearts a grateful place from which to speak. For we are grateful he has a job. Incredibly grateful he is doing well in classes and gets to continue his studies. And equally blessed when he is able to be home with us. 


 We have successfully altered how we speak about these areas and in turn have noticed our hearts changing as well. Whether or not this made a difference to Baby Love was still an unknown until the other day. 


 During play time he picked up his "case" that he says is for "work", packed it up. Grabbed his favorite ball, said goodbye to his toys then with a huge and beaming smile on his face came to kiss me goodbye. I asked where he was going and he said "work", with a bright smile on his face! He proceeded to march to the door where he stood for a period of about 30 seconds. Then he turned and walked back into the room, put his "case" down where Kevin puts his briefcase when he gets home, and ran to kiss me hello. I thanked him for going to work and asked how it was. He replied "good!" with enthusiasm and joy. In response to me asking if he did any important work he hemmmed and replied "yeah". Then went about greeting his toys. We did this at least 20 times that day. Each time the joy and tenacity was there. It was a moment where all of our hard work and the listening to the tiny conviction in our hearts, were manifested and redeemed! What a wonderful moment! It made me sit and think about all of the other tough decisions we have made and I dreamt for a second of what those would look like when they too are redeemed. Only for a second though, for my little man was returning from work and wanted another kiss....

I can feel these precious moments with our Baby Love just slipping through my fingers. Desperately I am trying to hold on tight and get every last memory out of the moment. The milestones are no longer documented on a monthly basis. We aren't tracking development in a hawk like manner that we did for the first 12 months. Yet now more than ever I am reaching for scraps of paper to write down a memory that I can't bear the thought of losing.
The sentimental poems about leaving the dishes for later because hugs won't always be in abundance in a short period of time, blah blah blah, have always rubbed me the wrong way. In my mind keeping a pleasant and clean home provides a safe and relaxing space for creativity to blossom. Today I realized what my sentimental ode to childhood moments would look like and it explains the reason I am so tired. As my son followed me around the house, periodically asking to be held, I held him tightly. When he rested his head on my shoulder, I cuddled and rocked him. Never did I think that there wasn't time for these acts of love. As he nuzzled into my neck and began to play with my hair I began to make lists. Not of what needed to be done, but of ways to extend our closeness. And now that he is down for a nap I turn the speed up a notch and those dishes still got done. The house is picked up, clothes put away, stroller collapsed. Check, check, check. Because for me, the ability to truly dwell in those moments becomes more natural when I power through his down time. But that is just me. I am sure there are many type A personalities that would relate to my sentiments, and tons of you who wish I would just give it a break. But these moments are so precious, and I simply can't let them escape because part of my mind is elsewhere.


As we walked, no stroller just a genuine stroll, hand in hand to Starbucks. We pointed out the cars and birds, talking about what sounds they make and my breath caught a little in my chest. I heard my heart whispering to capture every element of this moment. I took a long deep breath, memorized the scent of the day. Dwelt on the smallness of his little hand in mine. Took a visual picture of what he was wearing, what I was wearing, what the world around us looked like. In that moment I knew that this scene would never repeat itself again and so I captured it earnestly. It is forever encased in my mind and I know that when I am old and gray I will be able to pull it up and relive every little detail as though it were yesterday. And onward we go, new memories to make and moments begging to be captured. And capture them I will, piece by piece.

Safety is something that always comes up in conversations when people find out we live in the heart of a larger city. When we had Baby Love we discussed in depth different precautions we would and wouldn't be taking. It was our desire to raise a healthy, secure and loving little boy who wasn't afraid of the unknown. One of the tools we used for reaffirming who was in ours, and by proxy his, safety circle was this little look book.

Its that time of year, when bunnies in every variety of sweetness sit on the shelves beckoning you and your children to take a bite out of their ear, just to see if they are hollow or not.
When candy seems to take over the minds of children and adults alike since they come in wonderful little shapes and spring (what is that again?) inspired colors. The candy is sweeter, the toys noisier and the stuffed animals larger than life. What other time of year can you find a behemoth of a bunny that towers of your toddler? Punching bag anyone?
So here we find ourselves and for the first time we actually need and want to care about what goes in those lovely little baskets. As we embark on this path of parenthood we find a number of questions popping up.


Don't worry, we know this is a treasured holiday to us and we don't plan on making it dreary with our concerns. But we have realized that "parenting intentionally is what makes the difference between a great and a good parent" (credit goes to Joy Dombrow for that nugget of parenting wisdom). 
So tell us, what are you doing for Easter baskets this year? Any ideas? And if you don't have children, what was your favorite Easter basket growing up? We would LOVE to hear your ideas and memories!

This Thursday we are thankful for a solution to a very common problem, messy mealtimes. As we have said before we live in a small apartment building and laundry is a process. Since it takes a bit to get it done we try to find ways to not have to do it as often. Buying Baby Love tons of clothes isn't really an option, so trying not to go through multiple costume changes in a day has become more of a reality. The biggest opponent of this would be the inevitable mealtime, lunch in particular. Lunch is a problem because there is still half of the day left and we usually have someplace to be before bedtime. Added to that is his love of all things "dip, dip, dip", which is at it's core the messiest of words in the toddler language. So without further ado I give you our newest love and reason to be thankful......

Via

...for less than $4 you get a two-pack of these delightful little lifesavers. They were with the art supplies in the children's section (in case you want to rush out and pick some up for yourself). We have been searching for some for this supreme purpose and were elated and the affordability. After having them home for a day or two, and the request of spaghetti looming on the horizon, we thought:"why not?". Viola an object that can serve two purposes. Little loves, you will have a place in our home for a long time to come.

Play along with us! Every Thursday we will post something we are thankful for, and I would love it if you did so as well on your blogs. It is medicine for the soul to give thanks and when done regularly contentment comes into reach. And it can be anything silly, personal, or blog related. Just take a moment to give thanks!

My son has a new-found love of movies and it drives me nuts. Growing up without television was one of the single best decisions my parents made, especially for my personality type. We had a TV, but only had access to movies for special occasions. So there it stood, a big black empty looking box that rarely roared to life, and that is how I liked it, empty looking. Now before I go on some awful rabbit trail about TV and toddlers I will steer myself back on track, transitions. His love of movies has led to a love of the cases and he reads them, rather than  a book. Being that they are (or rather were...) in a drawer that he had access to I decided to strap on my mommy boots and change this dynamic in our home. Given that this was a success (sorry if I spoiled the ending of the story for you) I wanted to share. So often there are many more steps backwards than forwards when dealing with a toddler that I LOVE a successful toddler-parenting story.

Knowing his little heart the way that I do, being sensitive and gradual was going to be the key to success in this transition. So one morning he woke up to "his" movies not being in the drawer. While a bit confused he searched and then moved on to something else. Step two was convincing him that something else being in that drawer was a good thing, and letting him think it was his idea. So the other night he was at the drawer and looking a bit perplexed at the progressing emptiness of it's contents when I suggested he fill it with his books. His SPECIAL books. He got so excited he ran from the room and came back as I hoped, with more books than would fit in that space. I suggested mommy move her movies to make room for his special books and he jumped on that idea. In 5 minutes the problem drawer went from a constant issue to a special "secret" space for his favorite books.

Now his movies are in zippered boxes under the couch, out of sight and hard to pull out and his favorite drawer is filled with mommies favorite-for-him things, beautiful, well-loved books.

This process reminded me of the importance of approaching my toddler as a little person with very real feelings and fears. To deal with him as sensitively as I would a dear friend in a state of her own transition. And to soften my heart to his so that we continue to grow together in communication and respect, rather than apart. To my fellow parents of toddlers I hope you are encouraged.